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When I Was a Boy: 2100
by Tony Fabris
to the tune of "When I Was a Boy" by Frank Hayes
(c) 2005 Tony Fabris
When I was a boy, our Nintendo
Hooked up to our big-screen TV
'Cause we didn't have frontal-lobe implants
And the games were all still in 2D
And how 'bout those ancient controllers?
'Cause we got RSI don'tcha see,
Using joysticks and buttons for playing the games
We couldn't just use ESP
And we walked twenty yards to the bus stop
And they sometimes closed school 'cause of snow
Since we had no control o'er the weather
Back in those days long ago
Back when forty years old was 'over the hill'
And AI was only a toy
And our books were still printed on dead trees
When I was a boy
When I was a boy, all our networks
Were for pirating ripped MP3s
And the RIAA only sued in those days
'stead of seeking the death penalty
And you kids who all bitch that the speed of light
is too slow, shouldn't ought to complain
'Cause in my day we didn't have teleports
And we got there by car, boat, or plane
And we walked twenty yards to the bus stop
And they sometimes closed school 'cause of snow
Since we had no control o'er the weather
Back in those days long ago
When a hundred and four was a really old age
And gene splicing only a toy
And electrical power cost money
When I was a boy
When I was a boy, all our leaders
Were elected instead of just cloned
Though I can't say I see any difference
They're all still as dumb as a stone
And we hid all our bits under clothing
Back when nudity still was a sin
And each time you went to a restaurant
You'd need shirt, pants, and shoes to get in
And we walked twenty yards to the bus stop
And they sometimes closed school 'cause of snow
Since we had no control o'er the weather
Back in those days long ago
Back when 'four' was the number of limbs we all had
And spaceships? Ha! Nothing but toys!
And computers were things that had keyboards
... And cell phones were things that you carried
... And safe sex meant using a condom
... And Alligators in the sewers were just urban legends
... And mutants were only in movies
... And movies were filmed on… well… film
... And Lucas still hired live actors
... And Walt Disney's head was still frozen
... And the right wing didn't complain about robotic
non-corporeal interspecies line marriages
... And Google didn't own the whole planet
When I was a boy
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