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Dear Bill By Tony Fabris To the tune of "Dear God" by XTC (c) 2002 Tony Fabris Dear Bill, I just bought your product and right now, I think that it really sucks eggs. But not just because it takes up a thousand megs. It's all the bugs that you left in the software 'cause you hadta get it on the street to look good on the balance sheet for Bill. I'm kinda pissed at you. Dear Bill, sorry to remind you but your stuff crashes twenty times in one day. And when we call you up for help you make us have to pay. And all the people manning your support lines simply don't know what to do. And that's only when I can get through to Bill. I need support from you. Did you make XP, and the Death Screen Blue? Did you rape mankind, after we made you? And Steve Ballmer, too? Dear bill, better get a grip because we think that your stupid paper clip blows. I'd like to shove that annoying thing right up your nose. And all the features that bloat your software still won't do what I want them to. And I can't just hit Undo Thanks, Bill. I'm really mad at... I can't put up with... I won't put up with crashing Excel. No locks, no errors, no freezes as well. No buggy upgrades, no work-arounds. You're always letting us users down. The time we waste, the servers down. The work we lose to 'file not found'. And it's the same the whole world 'round, we all see that the bugs abound. And Microsoft is at the most the butt of everybody's jokes. And we might all wise up and see that Linux is both stable and free. And if we all switched, you'd agree that... you're screwed. Dear Bill. |
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