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A Day in the Life of a Straight Guy
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(This parody actually took me three tries to write. I had a complete song written to the tune of "Two Princes" by The Spin Doctors, and threw it out because it wasn't funny. Then I tried writing it to another tune, and didn't get very far. Finally, I hit upon the idea of melding the fab five with the fab four, and came up with this. I owe some of the credit to Steve Macdonald, whose parody (also, coincidentally, written to a Beatles tune) "Grapthar's Silver Hammer" works because it contains quotes from the movie. I knew that in order for this one to work, I'd have to do the same thing, and include quotes from the series. Fortunately, the song's format allows me to do that very thing easily as a time-filler during the ascending-scale bits before the bridge and at the end. This works well because I'm not good at doing patter while playing chords, but those bits are just the same dissonant chord that keeps sliding up a fret. Still, I put in some patter-during-chording at the end of the bridge and it took me a lot of practicing to be able to do it.) 

	A Day in the Life of a Straight Guy
	By Tony Fabris
	To the tune of "A Day in the Life" by The Beatles
	(c) 2004 Tony Fabris


Five guys showed up today, oh no
Said I'd no hope of ever getting laid
My hair and clothes were really bad
I had no sense of fla-i-r
and too much body ha-i-r

They threw my stuff out on the lawn
Went through my cupboards and my goodie drawer
Threw out my rugs and favorite chair
Though they think I'm a freak
Queer Eye For the Straight Guy gonna turn me into someone chic

They waxed my back today, ow ow
Cut all my hair and did a manicure
Hope all my friends don't think I'm gay
They say chicks dig this look
Now I must learn... to... cook...
They say it turns... them... on...

         (Ted's Voice): "Nothing says class like a flamethrower in the kitchen."
         (Carson's Voice): "These pants are a little bit like a cheap hotel. No ball room."
         (Kyan's Voice): "If you bathed more often, you wouldn't NEED the anti-itch cream."

Came back, and saw my place
Should have seen the look on my face 
They took my dumpy pad and made it cool
and filled my cabinet full of product placement stuff

         (Jai's Voice): "Remember to hold it with the label TOWARD the camera..."

Now I got style, I got class
But then Carson grabbed my ass
He taught me how to walk and how to 'tjuze'
I've got the goods, now I'm ready for a date

          (Carson's Voice): "It's very 'JFK'... And not in a good way."
          (Carson's Voice): "Do you have bad CREDIT, or just bad TASTE?"
          (Ted's Voice): "It's all fun and games until someone gets SARS."
          (Carson's Voice): "The 80's called. They want their hair back."
            
I had my date tonight, oh boy
Ten thousand little things I did all wrong
I didn't think that I'd survive
But when my date arrived
I swept her off her feet because I had the help of the Fab Five
She says I turn... her... on...

          (Carson's Voice): "We could solve the oil crisis if we just boiled down all this polyester."
          (Carson's Voice): "Pleats make me VERY ANGRY."
          (Kyan's Voice): "There's no excuse for nose hair. Ever."
          (Carson's Voice): "What a difference a GAY makes."
Click on a song below for my personal parody songs (not related to Vixy & Tony):
Comfortably Dumb Chip Wonder Lights Dear Bill Max Rebo Band Mr. Anderson Losing My Connection Buggy Software False Alarms at BayCon A Day in the Life of a Straight Guy Fifty Ways to Change the Movie When I Was a Boy: 2100



©2010 Tony Fabris.
98657 hits since February, 2006